boundaries......

Last night I found myself making a comment about "appropriate boundaries".  This morning I find this interesting.  This morning I am face to face with myself about what I say I want........ 


...............and what I practice.  


I have been saying that I want expansion....expansion of life, expansion of love, expansion of boundaries and expansion of possibility.  And, yet, when it comes to me...dropped on my front door, do I really want it?  


Do I really want to be so open, so available, so inviting, that people will say to or ask anything of me?  Do I really want to extend myself? .....Give more of myself?  Do I really want to look more inward and discover more about who I really am?


I have to honestly say, it's a bit uncomfortable.  And maybe more work.....


Did I think that I could ask the universe to shift everything in my world 180 degrees and that it would just feel like sunshine all the time?


Intuitively, I feel that the natural state of humankind is connected to the point that we would never hesitate to ask for what we need or say how we feel to those around us. 


 I remember the first time I went to a support group, as everyone was there for the same thing and everyone there was in need of each other, there was this natural arena to say anything and be who we really were......  to feel how we felt and not know anything.


Could all of life be like one giant support group meeting?


At least in this regard, I actually think so.......


The one thing I do know is that I do not want to retreat back into my world of propriety and isolation with its illusion of safety and "right".  Forward into the unknown is the only direction I want to go.  No matter how much I have to face and no matter how honest I have to be..... with myself and others.  


There are good reasons we don't particularly like change.  The discomfort leaving behind the familiar and forging new pathways is work for us mentally and emotionally.  I, however, have gotten to the end of my road of the familiar....


May the words appropriate and boundaries never be uttered together by me; rather may I:  
 open,
 
check inward, 


and move forward with generosity....