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Energy

11/11/2017

Human energy can not be turned off. For that matter, neither can animal nor plant nor earth energy be turned off. The flow of energy is constantly moving about and through everything; animating and giving life to every living thing.

As humans we regularly flow our energy through non living things. While a painting is not living or breathing but hanging on a wall, we can walk up to it and cause it to come alive at that moment merely by beholding it. As we relate to the painting it is our own energy that returns to us and touches us....whether it is appreciation or aversion or something in between.

Between two people, it's a bit more complicated as we are attempting to manage our own outgoing energetic connection at the same time as receiving energy from someone else. Each person is trying to manage input and output at the same time either looking for common ground or the upper hand or merely survival.

The human body is not a dense enough membrane to contain our energy; it resonates from our center to at least several inches outside the boundary of our skin. Often this is great news. We love to share and partake in positive energy; there are people we count on to lift us up and show us a positive outlook. And, it feels great to offer some positive energy to a friend or even a stranger when they are in need.

On the other side of that coin lay our challenge. We all have at least some problematic energy. Mostly, we hope it will stay neatly tucked inside ourselves....in our heads or hearts or guts where it's been for as long as we can remember. But as much as we'd like this to be true, we know it's impossible. It sure would be convenient if there were an off switch.

More often that not, everyone around us knows when this stuff comes up for us by how it feels to be near us. And we know because of the way we feel internally. How to save the world, our friends and ourselves from this problematic energy?

If the answer were as simple as denial, we'd be in great shape!! For most of us, denial is the mode we're already in.

If the answer were "faking it", we'd also be in pretty good shape most of the time.

But the thing about our energy is that it matches what we believe. It reveals the ultimate truth about the ways we see ourselves, others, the world and even the universe. There is no amount of avoiding, denying or faking that can alter this fact.

And we cannot turn it off

What can we do?

Work with it. Recognize what is going on. Get to the source. Find a practice that allows us to contact who we really are. Shine some light on the darkness. It is possible to develop positive, kind, patient, loving beliefs toward ourselves, others and the world. After all, our beliefs are a product of our habitual thoughts and opinions. Where did they come from? Consider their source. Did you consciously choose them? Are they really yours? How happy are you with them?

Pema Chodron teaches a few practices which are very helpful...my favorite one is called compassionate abiding
https://youtu.be/L9r_X6aX6HA

The quality of our beliefs
determine the quality of our energy
which determine the quality of our relationships
and the quality of our life.

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Authenticity

10/1/2017

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I am a teacher. I believe I was born a teacher and that my part in it has been to allow the teacher in me to emerge. My very first paid job (besides babysitting) was as an exercise instructor and I have continued to teach various forms of group exercise for 35 years. I consider my main job as a mother to be that of teacher.

In being a teacher, I cannot teach what I have not learned.

These days I teach yoga but really I offer messages of calm, peace and wholeness. I teach my students that they are whole and goodness from their very core and that their part in this life is to calm down and with grace, allow themselves to emerge. We practice knowing the calm and centered place of basic goodness before moving into any other practice.

I teach this because I have learned it.

Occasionally it happens that someone shares with me that they have had any number of difficulties come up in life and I remind them that their practices of meditation, centering and faith--whatever they be--- will ground them in their basic goodness, bring grace and that all will be well.

I can say this because I have learned it through my experience.

It makes sense though, that if I am to continue to teach I must continue to learn.

The easy part of continuing my education to teach yoga is taking workshops and classes. These keep me learning new ways of practicing asana keeping things fresh and, hopefully, interesting to my students. The hard part of continuing my education in teaching what I really teach... centering, wholeness and basic goodness... is where in life I get to learn this. It is within each experience that brings me to my practices that I explore and try out what I theoretically know.

Two weeks ago I breathed with my mother while she breathed her last physical breaths. I understood some things as I tried out something that I theoretically knew. She was making a journey into her next phase of life and I wanted to help her do it gracefully from her calm and centered place. I thought it would be easy for me to stay with her-- and it was. I thought I could offer my self to her as she embarked -- and I could. I didn't know that the energy I offered her at the time of her death would be just like the energy I've offered others at the time of giving birth -- but it was. The coming and going of life force is remarkably similar to me.

My mother has gracefully left this physical existence and, I believe, continues on. Today I see her face and smiling eyes in my mind and hear her confident and soothing voice in my head as she remains forever my mother; offering me, as always, her absolute love and adoration. I have learned that physical presence isn't as important as I thought it was; that we are more energy than matter!

She and I remain connected....we continue on, each breathing the air of our respective ethers.

And now its time for class. I begin with the intention in my heart, as I always do, "Please let me be of service to someone today". Then we sit, breathe, calm down and gracefully allow ourselves to emerge.

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Yogurt Containers

9/27/2017

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Rinsing out the yogurt containers because they are still good she points out how she sees the good and best in people. People are the containers of spirit. People mattered more to her than things. The insides of people are not always easy to see. We look at their containers and try to find out by reading their labels, opening the lid a bit, sniffing and smelling for a hint of who is inside to see if we'd like to partake.

To parake in relationship is our highest value....her's and now mine....I learned that from her. She was able to see me inside my container, under my labels. She helped us all see ourselves because she could see us; she helped us all value ourselves because she valued us. Today we can pass on that gift freely, as she did, because we have it to give.

And she knew that the contents of our containers change and mix into new and maturing spirit along the way; especially if someone is there to take care and hold the space and fill them with love. She was always so good at that

Now she leaves this countiner behind. Free of it she can expand into the limitless space of unbounded eternity and unending bliss.

Surely to come back again into a new - freshly - washed and carefully rinsed out container

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Mother's Day

5/14/2017

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Today is Mother's Day....my day at our house. I have been honored already with gifts from my children and many offerings of love and gratitude. But this Mother's Day is diferent than any other so far.....

My most recent mantra is "more energy than matter". It comes from the teaching of Caroline Myss; my newest teacher. I thank her for doing the work of writing and lecturing and for answering her call as a teacher.

I woke up today and began with my mantra, as I have for the passed month, and felt a rush of Mother energy washed over me and ever since I've been sensing a multi faceted mandala of mother energy. As I feel the presence of my mother I can feel her gifts to me of unconditional love and encouragement and I can see that she has drawn from her mother sources and passed on the best of what was given to her. I feel the presence of other mothers ......aunts and friends, and their mothers. She and they are mothers to me and we are mothers within the energy and Archetype of Mother.

This morning I ride the energetic current of every mother there has ever been on the planet. I am familiar with them as I am with myself. We are one. We have born our children, faced our deamons, dared to dream and relied on each other in our combinations of hope and desperation, clarity and confusion, knowing and wondering.

In Being more energy than matter, we don't need to be physically present to connect. And, we can connect to more than we can physically touch.

As I reside in the energetic sphere today I send my spirit to every mother....offering the balm of connection, gratitude and love.....

But mostly I am riding the current and enjoying the ride as well as the scenery.

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update on cloudy days

7/7/2016

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Several years ago I read an interesting definition of depression: The resulting state of the act of depressing. Along with this difinition I read about various creative ways people depress. It was at this time that I realized I was no stranger to depression. I knew that there was a cyclical framework to my life and I knew that I really hated the downturns but I didn't understand what was at play.

It turned out that I used happy as a way to depress almost any other natural feeling. I was terrified of any feeling other than happy. I was in favor anything that had the promise of happy and opposed everything that did not.

In my marraige (both of them) I set my self up as the princess and my husband as the knight in shining armour; saying to them in many ways--do whatever it takes to keep everything good and happy.

As you might expect, I was on the hunt for answers because the life of happy had reached a dead end. I was lost and had no clue who I (or anyone else) was. It was desperation that drove me look inward and attempt to unravel the tightly woven fabric of my "happy " life. I just couldn't imagine why it all wasn't working.

I discovered that I am a human....and so is everyone else.

I discovered that the human condition is complex and worth exploring. I discovered that I, and everyone else, contain a lifetime's work of discovery. I realized that I don't have to cover up my contradictions, inadequacies, feelings, or anything else with happy.

It turned out that joining the human race was a relief.

I discovered a whole world of fellow beings whith complexities just like me. Letting go of the need to be happy all the time in order to be ok was a big relief for me as well as for my family.

I began to find the middle way.

Yet, when the gloom of hopelessness and thoughts of giving up come around its still a pretty big emergency for me. Red flags still fly because this is too much sadness and too much sadness is a much bigger problem than too much happiness.

Or is it?

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integration, inclusion and connection

3/1/2016

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In 1985 I got a summer job as a teacher’s aide working with handicapped students. The big topic of discussion that summer was what would happen in the fall when the required full inclusion of students in regular classrooms would be carried out. Until then students with disabilities were segregated into separate classrooms; but the new thinking was that all students would benefit from including students with disabilities inside regular classrooms. The “regular” students would be exposed to people who were different than they; be able to interact with students with disabilities and even mentor their peers in some cases.

This was unconventional and largely inconvenient to the current way of getting along and the teachers and staff had been doing things a certain way for many years. They were having a hard time imagining how on earth they could provide the support the students needed outside the walls of their classroom. They were having a hard time imagining this kind of integration. They didn't want to do it. One teacher was thrilled to be retiring at the end of summer and wasn't going to have to participate! As a new member of the team, I wasn't invested in the ways of the past and I remember wondering what the big deal was.

One thing was for sure; the mandate had come down ant it WAS happening. The directive was to get on board or get off.

When things or people have been segregated for quite some time it can be hard to imagine how to bring them together.

Here is where creativity and imagination come in very handy.

In the fall I was assigned to the "school to work /transitional" students. We were charged with the task of teaching the students to be out in the community. We spent our days teaching students to take the bus, buy lunch, and looking for jobs. These students ranged from 17 to 22 years old and had been, for the most part, segragated from the community. This was very rewarding work for me. At 19 years old I was excited to be participating in cutting edge educational practices even though many veteran teachers and aids were struggling to carry out this integration. As problems or issues arrose, we brainstormed, got creative and solved them.

Creativity and imagination came in very handy for sure!

In yoga practice the main theme is integration. This ancient practice is aimed at an individual understanding of nonseparation. When we practice poses in our bodies we feel the integration of our physical parts and when we practice yoga of the mind we feel the integration of the self. There is also the integration of breath and movement; of mind and body; of stable and fluid; of rooting down and rising up; of inner and outer; of holding and releasing; of heart and soul …… the list goes on…..

When we engage in yoga practice we notice that our segregated parts feel normal to us and yet we are charged with the task of integrating them.

Then we feel the strong resistance of our current way of being and doing.

And why is the ancient practice of yoga a practice of integration?

Because with full integration and inclusion comes freedom.

Dr. Martin Luther King is just one of many significant leaders who expressed this. In his famous speech in 1963 he said, ".....for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone." At the school, no student was denied an opportunity to be included with his or her peers. For the first time ever, students with disabilities were proactively included with all students.

As each of us expereinces the process and freedom of personal integration, we can imagine and create full human integration. Integration of each person on the soul level is the foundation of integration of all ...people...hearts.... with each other and in such integration we all become free.

Free to persue that which the heart wants.....

Connection.

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Edge

2/8/2016

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One of the styles of yoga I practice is Yin yoga. It is named after the yin energy that sits across from yang energy. The two energies balance each other and hold each other up. These two energies expand in all directions. Even as they expand outwardly, they move toward each other. Where they meet, they create a union of a balanced complete energy.

These two energies reside within every living thing. We generally experience Yin energy as passive, cool, soft, grounding into earth. It is the feminine energy. Yang, in contrast, is expereinced as, warm, active, expanding, strong, rising up. It is the masculine energy.

Initially, I thought that the practice of Yin yoga was to move all the way out to the edge of yin energy....which may still be a way of practicing.....but for me, I realized that becoming too loose in my joints was a looming possibility and as I serched for answers it became clear to me that I was headed toward the wrong edge.....

Another way to practice Yin yoga is to explore the edge of where these two energies meet. We can practice finding the edge of lax and taut; of holding and releasing; of stretching and drawing in; of grounding and rising within our bodies. In Yin practice we establish the yin side and approach the yang. Conversely, when we do a yang practice we approach the yin from the yang. In each practice, the challenge is approaching the energy that is not already present.

Discovering the middle edge had been transformative for me.

When we experience the outer edge of the Yin Yang circle we can recognize the imbalance of residing and even increasing the pure Yin or Yang energy.

There are times, for sure, when we all need to draw upon a predominantly yin or yang energy in order to get something done or to accept something that is not ours to change. But is taking up residence out on one of these sides going to take us where we really want to go?

Maybe we don't always know where we want to go specifically, but in general we may. As, for me, I have declared that I want to expand into limitless possibility......

This place of the meeting of the two sides surely has the potential to be demanding and even frightening. But the rewards of bravely moving toward the center edge are great. When we are balanced on this edge we have the ability to be kind and firm; to be available and not a doormat; to be still and creative; to care deeply and not grasp. This edge has the potential to be the place of integrated power and expansion of possibility whether we are on our mats, in our homes or workplaces.

Along this border resides the genesis of expansion of the outer boundary. This center edge is the gathering place of two complimentary forces that allow each of us to break free of the current and move out into possibility.....

...with the strength and stability of drawing in.

It is the edge of dark and light, intuition and logic, cool and hot, hard and soft.......

Here, on this edge, we find the string to our kite.

And soar with connection.

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Dear Sheri.....

2/5/2016

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Earlier this week my friend flew in to town to bury her younger brother.

He died too young at only 22.

On Tuesday it was February 2. I was aware of the date and of the anniversary of my own loss.

But her loss was fresh....her pain was sharp compared to the older and dulling pain of loosing my baby 7 years ago.

We, her friends, gathered around her last night at the funeral. We marveled at her strength and poise. She stood straight at the front as she delivered beautiful words about him, his life, all of life and the neverending nature and energy of the soul. We could see her ache and how beautifully she showed up for him, their siblings and parents.

As I sat in my seat I remembered the beginning part of grieving.....

I remembered so many loud sobs and the pain in my throat......the headaches from crying too long and the swollen eyes looking back at me in the mornings. I remembered thinking that the vastness of this pain would never subside.

After the service my friend burried her face in my shoulder to release those same loud and deep sobs that come up from your gut. All I could say was that I know that pain.....

and......

Breathe

Tonight on February 5 I am grateful for my experience.

Tonight I know that she, who never lived on this earth, taught us things we may not have learned any other way. We have all been influenced by her existence though it was very short....we all owe her a debt of gratitude. Surely, experience is the only road to authenticity.

Tomorrow my family will go to the place we scattered Isabel's ashes. It's our favorite beach. We will go and play and celebrate her and express gratitude for her role in our family. She has a unique place in each of our lives.

And we will feel gratitude for the most difficult experience we've had so far.........

Dear Sheri.....may the gratitude for this most difficult experience come to you soon and may you breathe easy as it does.

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Authenticity

1/24/2016

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Life is sometimes lonely.

At the point of human connection we share experience. Sometimes we learn from, are entertained or inspired by another's experience and their sharing of it. Other times we connect over having had the same one......and we are less lonely.

Other times life is confusing or disappointing or painful.....

At these times we often look to our fellow beings to help clear things up; to learn some strategies or practices to help us out. There are people and teachers I have looked to throughout my life and the ones that stick the most in my mind are the ones who personally moved through and walked the path they teach about. They are the ones who speak from personal experience rather than theory.

Knowing that my teacher or friend has actually lived through the process of waking up into a mindful existence or has practiced on her mat daily for many years is the most powerful inspiration for me to continue my own practice.

Jarvis Masters is living an awakened life and wrote an amazingly inspirational book from death row in San Quentin. He cultivates and inspires peace and community in a place with all the cards stacked against him.

......maybe

You cannot really guide someone down a path that you have not walked. And maybe everyone can be a guide to someone.

Some of us are comfortable teaching groups of people so we get up in front and do it. I think that all of us can serve as a guide to someone who needs support. We all have our real expereinces and triumphs in life and can share them with someone else.

Just to know that your friend has made it through or is living with an experience that you are currently having creates support and hope that can weave back and forth between you resulting in a fabric that holds us up.

The one requirement is our authentic representation of ourselves.

Lets be open about who we are and how we are...

know we have something to offer and something to gain....

and life will be less lonely.

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chaos....

1/17/2016

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"Nothing in the world can change from one reality into another unless it first turns into nothing....... The moment when the egg is no more but the chick is not yet is nothingness. This is the primal state which no one can grasp because it is a force which preceeded creation; it is called chaos."
---Martin Buber

This morning I posted about my current mood... the gloomy feeling and sense of futility etc... An hour later I had a class to teach (yoga). As I drove myself there I knew I wasn't going to be able to just go in and pretend everything was ok. I'm currently on the verge of tears most of the time.....

I always give a theme for the class so when I walked in I explained about the waiting that I'm doing ..... remembering that behind the clouds is the warm sun and remembering that no matter how im feeling now, my basic goodness and wholeness resides within.

We practiced with this in mind and I felt better while we did.

Tonight I was reminded of the Buber quote. It came to me that maybe this mood is part of chaos? I had been thinking to myself yesterday about feeling so disconnected when I'm usually so grounded.... it's strange to me to feel so sad when I'm usually so happy.....

Maybe these clouds belong the storms of change and I'm experiencing chaos?

Yeah, Ill go with that......

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Lucy Facer Bernstein

I am a committed yogi and community member. I believe in the goodness of humankind and that as we discover our ultimate connectedness we can all find peace....within and without.

Lucy Facer Bernstein

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