"Don't you think I've tried that already mother?!! They won't!" Now I wanted to help her understand that this is a common social problem and that hate is a cover up for something else. I asked her if she thought "so and so" was probably sad to have lost her best friend, and I explained to her that it is usually hurt or fear that lies under hate. She understood. I sensed my explanation wouldn't change anything.....
An hour and a half later I cried in savasana
The conversation had stuck with me all through my practice today. I was, of course, concerned for my daughter but equally concerned for the other girls....for all the girls in pain or fear over friendship or any part of life. As I laid there on my mat, it seemed clear to me that the whole world is living out this same scenario. Nations and peoples and individuals are plagued with fear and hurt and end up acting out hate as if it is the only conclusion. The universal battle cry seems to be " Hurry up and blame someone!"
This week my 12 year old daughter learned about Buddhism in social studies. She came home on friday and said, "mom, are you a Buddhist?" I told her that I am everything and nothing......and that I like lots of wise teachings, some of which are Buddhist. She informed me that in order to end suffering and achieve enlightenment one would have to stop desiring anything. I told her that I do like that teaching.
Today I desire friendship and generosity amongst 10 year old girls..... How do I not want that? Today I want our human spirit to triumph over fear and hurt and blame and hate.
And I suffered over that desire.
Clearly it's time, once again, to let it go.