chaos....

"Nothing in the world can change from one reality into another unless it first turns into nothing.......  The moment when the egg is no more but the chick is not yet is nothingness.  This is the primal state which no one can grasp because it is a force which preceeded creation; it is called chaos."
---Martin Buber

This morning I posted about my current mood... the gloomy feeling and sense of futility etc...  An hour later I had a class to teach (yoga).  As I drove myself there I knew I wasn't going to be able to just go in and pretend everything was ok.  I'm currently on the verge of tears most of the time.....  

I always give a theme for the class so when I walked in I explained about the waiting that I'm doing ..... remembering that behind the clouds is the warm sun and remembering that no matter how im feeling now, my basic goodness and wholeness resides within.  

We practiced with this in mind and I felt better while we did.

Tonight I was reminded of the Buber quote.  It came to me that maybe this mood is part of chaos?  I had been thinking to myself yesterday about feeling so disconnected when I'm usually so grounded....  it's strange to me to feel so sad when I'm usually so happy.....

Maybe these clouds belong the storms of change and I'm experiencing chaos?

​Yeah, Ill go with that......