For the record; I am the mother of 11 children: 1 with my first husband and 10 with my second. Also for the record; my husband, Dennis, also has 11 children: 1 with his first wife and 10 with me. Of course, that is 12 altogether.
Many people have asked me, over the years, how it is that we decided to have so many children. I usually try to come up with a witty answer when they ask. The best one was to a substitute pediatrician who was talking to my 4 year old. He asked Jack how many siblings he had and when Jack had to check with me if the answer was 10 or 11 he became suspicious. This doctor looked to me for clarification and I confirmed that it was indeed 11 siblings for a total of 12. This unsuspecting doctor asked the usual "how on earth did you decide to have 12 children?" I responded......
.............It takes a particular lack of foresight.
But the truth is that I have felt an undeniable call of motherhood .... As I have answered that call and grown into motherhood my heart has joined with the hearts of my children we all have fallen into a rhythm....
....... the rhythm of our family.........discovered by us rather than written.
Each one has been an anticipated addition to our production. Dennis and I are certainly humbled at the job of raising them..... they keep us on our best behaviour and putting our best effort forward. Even as we try our best to give them all the goodness of ourselves we are continually thoroughly impressed with each one and know that it is they who are emerging as their authentic selves......
When I was pregnant with our second to last child we were informed that our baby was "not compatible with life" and that we could schedule a termination. This news was at once unbelievable and devastating. I can say for sure that this became a matter of the heart quickly for Dennis and me. It is a miracle, I believe, that my practice of connecting my mind and heart was well in place by this time and I could, with compassion, live in and through this experience from my heart and without fear running the show.
We determined not to terminate our child's life but to wait and let nature have her way.....
Our whole family had time and space to understand what was happening....physically and spiritually.
On February 2, 2008, at the 32 week of my pregnancy, I knew she passed....... I was aware that she had stopped moving and I could feel that she was no longer inhabiting her body. Instead of rushing to the hospital to end this experience we saw the doctor to check on her passing and on my health. My doctor confirmed and granted us time.....
Being lead by our hearts, letting go of fear, submitting to the process and the rhythm of our family, we stayed present to the moment. I've said many times that on February 2 grace descended upon our house.......
....I shall never forget those days .... the days of grace, of peace, of compassion, of pure contrast of bitter and sweet.
My days of grace come around every year on February 2..............
Our daughter Isabel was born still on February 6.
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