Last Sunday my husband, Dennis, left for Cleveland, Ohio to be with his ailing mother.
Last Wednesday morning, 3 days later, she passed.
Death, like birth, is a tricky thing.....until we let go of all the "shoulds" and socially appropriate things we think about it..... I remember, after the birth of my first daughter I struggled privately with feelings of sadness and fear. I felt confused and guilty because I should have been on cloud 9... I didn't know about hormone crashes or that postpartum depression was a real and common thing. I didn't know because 23 years ago no one talked about that sort of thing; at least no one in my circles did.
Wednesday night I flew to Cleveland to be with Dennis and attend her funeral. The service was lovely and the family time together is a real treat!! The grieving was hard. We all cried a lot as we shared our memories and told our stories. I noticed feelings of guilt for the things I didn't do and the things I didn't say when she was alive. I'm grateful that my practice is to notice and then accept everything. I practice " head-up" acceptance. Acceptance with my head up and a sense of optimism is very different from the "head-down" resignation of giving up on life. There appears infinite possibility and hope once I accept all that is.....
.
Today I am concerned for my husband and the road of grieving that lays ahead of him. I want to be supportive in all of his feelings and all that this experience is bringing on. And I am a bit afraid of whatever fallout may be coming.....
My sincere hope is that "head-up" acceptance is going to work for him as he walks this path of grieving for the most important person in his life. And that if it doesn't I sincerely hope that he finds a practice that works for him.
Mostly because whatever he chooses, I get to accept it.......
Last Wednesday morning, 3 days later, she passed.
Death, like birth, is a tricky thing.....until we let go of all the "shoulds" and socially appropriate things we think about it..... I remember, after the birth of my first daughter I struggled privately with feelings of sadness and fear. I felt confused and guilty because I should have been on cloud 9... I didn't know about hormone crashes or that postpartum depression was a real and common thing. I didn't know because 23 years ago no one talked about that sort of thing; at least no one in my circles did.
Wednesday night I flew to Cleveland to be with Dennis and attend her funeral. The service was lovely and the family time together is a real treat!! The grieving was hard. We all cried a lot as we shared our memories and told our stories. I noticed feelings of guilt for the things I didn't do and the things I didn't say when she was alive. I'm grateful that my practice is to notice and then accept everything. I practice " head-up" acceptance. Acceptance with my head up and a sense of optimism is very different from the "head-down" resignation of giving up on life. There appears infinite possibility and hope once I accept all that is.....
.
Today I am concerned for my husband and the road of grieving that lays ahead of him. I want to be supportive in all of his feelings and all that this experience is bringing on. And I am a bit afraid of whatever fallout may be coming.....
My sincere hope is that "head-up" acceptance is going to work for him as he walks this path of grieving for the most important person in his life. And that if it doesn't I sincerely hope that he finds a practice that works for him.
Mostly because whatever he chooses, I get to accept it.......
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