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Head up, Honey?

5/2/2014

2 Comments

 
Last Sunday my husband, Dennis, left for Cleveland, Ohio to be with his ailing mother. 


Last Wednesday morning, 3 days later, she passed. 


Death, like birth, is a tricky thing.....until we let go of all the "shoulds" and socially appropriate things we think about it.....  I remember, after the birth of my first daughter I struggled privately with feelings of sadness and fear.  I felt confused and guilty because I should have been on cloud 9...  I didn't know about hormone crashes or that postpartum depression was a real and common thing.  I didn't know because 23 years ago no one talked about that sort of thing; at least no one in my circles did.


Wednesday night I flew to Cleveland to be with Dennis and attend her funeral.  The service was lovely and the family time together is a real treat!!  The grieving was hard.  We all cried a lot as we shared our memories and told our stories.  I noticed feelings of guilt for the things I didn't do and the things I didn't say when she was alive.  I'm grateful that my practice is to notice and then accept everything.  I practice " head-up" acceptance.  Acceptance with my head up and a sense of optimism is very different from the "head-down" resignation of giving up on life.  There appears infinite possibility and hope once I accept all that is..... 
. 

Today I am concerned for my husband and the road of grieving that lays ahead of him.  I want to be supportive in all of his feelings and all that this experience is bringing on.   And I am a bit afraid of whatever fallout may be coming.....


My sincere hope is that "head-up" acceptance is going to work for him as he walks this path of grieving for the most important person in his life.  And that if it doesn't I sincerely hope that he finds a practice that works for him.  


Mostly because whatever he chooses, I get to accept it.......









2 Comments
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    Lucy Facer Bernstein

    I am a committed yogi and community member. I believe in the goodness of humankind and that as we discover our ultimate connectedness we can all find peace....within and without.  

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