For the past 6 years I have been on a particular journey to understand my true identity and know what I am here on earth to do. I know it has been 6 years because this particular road in my life was started at the birth of Isabel..... That experience brought me to such a raw place within my being that I got a tiny sense that there was something important for me to know within the unexplored territory of my soul. That tiny sense began to vibrate deep within me with a strange feeling. The journey started without my intention.....it pulled at me with a steady tug. This vibration was new to me; unrecognizable to the files in my head but in my heart there was a small possibility I had felt it and known it before.
At that time, I had already been surrendering to life on life's terms and meditation was a practice I pursued (but to pursue meditation is somewhat contradictory; right?) but I didn't honestly think I deserved any answers from that. My only hope was that I would be able to live.....and that was enough. But this new vibration; this new feeling; this new thought was staying with me and I began to get the sense that life was going to get easier; or I was beginning to feel an ease in living that I hadn't had before.
Through the grace of the universe, meditation became available to me. Then one day, a realization came to me and I understood my true identity. And as I think about putting it down, here, in black and white, I can't bring myself to do it. It's not really important for me to tell you what my true identity is....but the important thing is that it came to me and was so clear to me that I wondered how I had gone so long with out remembering it. Upon knowing it, I also knew my purpose; they go together.
My Zen teacher says that we are all inherently enlightened and that our meditation practice is designed to wake us up to what already is.