It often feels to me that each person in my life is here to challenge me to a match; a duel of them vs. me. Some people are, of course, more confrontive or push my buttons more than others and some people seem to have targets painted on their foreheads inviting me to attack.
Nothing in my life experience makes me feel worse about myself that when I go on the offensive and attack another person.......yet I do it. Whether to their faces or behind their backs, I criticize, blame, and condemn others. Furthermore, when I see someone else on the offence attacking their fellow beings I am seriously bothered.....and condemn them for doing so.
What the heck is going on?
It's like I'm wired to do this or something.....
Maybe we are. Maybe we are wired to relate to others in ways that are really attempts to draw each other out.
Here we are, all of us, pure consciousness, pure light, essential goodness, and yet we are in a situation of separateness. We are now separated pieces of the same light housed in individual bodies....housed in bodies which are limiting and keeping boundaries on our energy and light that only want to shine and rejoin with itself.
We have been born into a puzzle and have limited instructions about it.
When I look at the reality of what we, in our current state, do with each other It kind of makes sense. With only a faint sense that we are all connected and that we all hold a piece of each other within ourselves we would naturally be anxiously engaged in rejoining.....yet we are very confused and try all sorts of craziness to do it.
One of my favorite teachers of awakening and expansion says that once we get a little instruction on the subject of who we are and that we can wake up, become fully human and expand; the process is begun. Then.....
" may we have long lives so that we can practice".
With some awareness that whether we are exasperated, angered or filled with love and compassion it's all the same intense desire to connect. We can see each human engagement as a sparring match designed to wake all of us up.
The kind of sparring partners we are will depend upon our commitments to mindfulness mutual benefit.
Today I aspire to be someone with whom you'd be willing to get in the ring.....
Today I am willing to get in the ring and practice.
After I meditate.....